Flying cow?
by o0immortal0o
Summary: What the ----? [completed]
1. Fairy Cows and The Dark Lord

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!  
  
[A/N: I am so sorry I ever wrote this, but it was stuck in my head. I was watching Nick Toons, and this is the result :S]  
  
Crossover: Fairly odd parents/Harry P/Red Dwarf/Stargate/BtVS  
In that order!  
  
pop  
  
Voldemort looked at the flying cow appearing from the cloud of smoke and glitter in front of him. Flying cow? "Get out of my way, I have business with the young Mr.Potter" he sneered.  
  
The fairy cow was hurt by this, and turned to the 'Mr.Potter'.  
  
"Is this fairyland?"  
  
"What?" Harry blinked in surprise, "No, but, if you could help me here I'd really appreciate it." He gestured to Voldemort, who was tapping his wand impatiently.  
  
The cow smiled (can cows smile?) "You mean you'll help me find fairyland?"  
  
"Yes, now lets go!" He childishly stuck his tongue out at Voldemort.  
  
"Thats it!" The Dark Lord fumed, "AVADA KE-"  
  
pop 


	2. Fairy Cows and Horny Cats

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!  
  
[A/N: I am so sorry I ever wrote this, but it was stuck in my head. I was watching Nick Toons, and this is the result :S]  
  
Crossover: Fairly odd parents/Harry P/Red Dwarf/Stargate/BtVS  
In that order!  
  
pop  
  
"What the smeg has just landed in the control room Holly?"  
  
Holly smiled dimly, "I dunno Dave. Looked like a teenage boy in a dress and a flying cow."  
  
Arnold Rimmer looked around excitedly, "Aliens! I knew it. I told you Listy you great big gimboid of a disbeliever." he looked pointedly at Dave 'Listy' Lister, "They've obviously come here to return me to my body. Ahh to feel again the brush of a flower, the texture of a strawberry, the silk of a woman's breast..."  
  
"Rimmer you great SMEG-HEAD. Its a flying cow and a teenage boy. What can they possibly do. And you've never felt 'the silk of a woman's breast'" he snorted beer into his mouthful of Vindaloo.  
  
"Ah Listy, Magruda." Rimmer smiled in a way he assumed was knowingly.  
  
meanwhile, in the control room  
  
Cat loked suspiciously at the cow, who was hovering by the boy.  
  
"Is this fairyland?"  
  
"Why yes, this is, the land of the fairies." Cat looked at the cow as if it were stupid, "Oh course its not fairyland. Do you see any fairies - and I'm not talking about Rimmer!"  
  
Harry spoke up, "Hey! There's not need for that - this cow just saved my life!"  
  
"Really? I don't care. You interrupted my bikini wax."  
  
The cow grinned at the Cat, "If you help me get to fairyland, I'll take you to a place with women."  
  
"Wait! How am I looking?" Cat quickly checked his pocket mirror, "I'm looking fine. Lets go!"  
  
pop 


	3. Fairy Cows and SG1

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!  
  
[A/N: I am so sorry I ever wrote this, but it was stuck in my head. I was watching Nick Toons, and this is the result :S]  
  
Crossover: Fairly odd parents/Harry P/Red Dwarf/Stargate/BtVS  
In that order!  
  
pop  
  
"Would anyone mind telling me what a flying cow, a teenage boy and a man is going in MY gateroom." General Hammond shouted as he stormed in, "NOW PEOPLE!"  
  
Sam Carter looked positively baffled, "Well Sir, I think I'm as clueless as you are."  
  
George Hammond looked to Daniel, who was reading a tablet written in ancient, "Daniel?"  
  
The archeologists face was scrunched up in concentration, "Well, er it looks like some sort of cosmic joke."  
  
Hammond looked desperate, "Jack? Teal'c?"  
  
Jack O'Neill shrugged, "I got nothing."  
  
Teal'c merely raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Right, I want you down there and damn well find out what's going on. Proceed with caution. We do not, I repeat do not know the severity of the situation here." And with that the General walked out the briefing room.  
  
Jack looked at his team, "Okay campers, lets go!"  
  
{Down in the gateroom}  
  
Cat looked at the blonde woman who was staring warily at him, "Who might you be?" He purred suggestively, baring his pearly white teeth.  
  
She blinked at the innuendo and nudged her CO with her elbow, "Sir, he has fangs."  
  
The man walked to wards her, offering a hand, "I'm Cat, and you're be-a-u- ti-ful!"  
  
She declined.  
  
Teal'c raised an eyebrow.  
  
The Boy Who Wore a Dress spoke, "Erm, we're not here to harm you. See, the fairy cow here," he pointed to the flying cow who was inspecting the Stargate, "rescued me from, well, certain death really, and promised to take Cat here somewhere with women, and he's kind of looking for fairyland."  
  
The Fairy Cow spun round, "Fairyland? Did someone say Fairyland?" he flew up to Daniel, "Is this Fairyland?"  
  
Daniel blinked, pushed his glasses up onto his nose and began to speak, "No, this is earth."  
  
Carter looked at the cow. Her brain was overloading, trying to find out how cows would or could fly.  
  
"Could you help me find fairyland?"  
  
"DanielJackson, I do not understand the meaning of this 'fairyla-"  
  
pop 


	4. Fairy Cows and The Scooby Gang or the gr...

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!  
  
[A/N: I am so sorry I ever wrote this, but it was stuck in my head. I was watching Nick Toons, and this is the result :S]  
  
Crossover: Fairly odd parents/Harry P/Red Dwarf/Stargate/BtVS  
In that order!  
  
"We're gonna find out what this thing is, and I'm gonna kill it. See, I've had it up to here," the petite blonde (Slayer comma The) raised a manicured hand abover her head,"with prophecies, and all that other crap."  
  
She looked around to see that her emotive speech was not lost on everyone.  
  
Xander was listening attentively, whilst eating a doughnut.  
  
Willow was nodding to what she had just said, while looking through an olld text.  
  
Giles was polishing his glasses, and Cordelia, well Cordelia had her hand raised. Like she was interested.  
  
"Yeah, Cordelia?"  
  
She sighed, "Yeah, whatever, how much longer do we have to do this?"  
  
Buffy gritted her teeth, "If you don't want to be here, than just leave."  
  
"Yeah Ordeal-ia. You're sucking the energy out of this room anyway."  
  
Cordelia tossed her hair, "Fine, well just maybe I'll-"  
  
pop  
  
She looked disgustedly at the flying cow, teenage boy, four militery and wierdly dressed black man.  
  
"Whatever, I don't even wanna know." And with that she walked out, Cat hot on her heels ("Hello sexy lady!").  
  
Teal'c walked over to Xander. "May I eat one of your jellied doughnuts?"  
  
Xander stared open-mouthed at the weird logo on the guy's head, "Sure."  
  
Teal'c smiled, and bowed his head.  
  
"Hey! It goes down well with this chocomilk!" Xander waved a carton of milk.  
  
"Apologies," Teal'c said gravely, "But I have no desire to drink chocolate- flavoured bovine lactose."  
  
Xander still stared at the gold thing on his forehead, "Right..."  
  
Buffy spoke up, "Does ANYONE wanna tell me what the hell is going on here?"  
  
The boy in a dress, who turned out to be called Harry recounted the story he had told SG-1, though adding them into the mix.  
  
Giles sighed, "It could only happen on the Hellmouth."  
  
Meanwhile, Carter was in deep conversation with Colonel O'Neill, "I mean, it goes against everything I've ever learnt or theorised about the laws of physics, or the laws of anything else I've come across. It's fascinating!"  
  
Willow perked up, "Ooh! Physics! Physics I can do! I mean, I'm O.K in the realm of physics."  
  
Carter looked at Jack then in Willow's direction with the pleading look of a puppy, "Go on Carter, you know the techno-babble gives me a headache."  
  
Buffy was assessing everyone in the room, "So why are you here?" she asked a man with greying brown hair."  
  
"Cow wanted to get to fairyland, where ever that is." he gestured with his gun (not the safest thing to do) in the general direction of the hovering cow, who was in deep conversation with Daniel Jackson.  
  
The cow quirked its head and turned round to face the group, "Fairyland? Is this Fairyland?"  
  
Giles sighed, "No, sorry."  
  
The creatures face looked crestfallen, "Oh well, thank you all for helping me find Fairyland."  
  
pop  
  
Buffy's head snapped round to lok a where the cow had just disappeared, "Hey! WAIT! What do I do with all these people?!"  
  
Giles just stood there, cleaning his glasses. No doubt, they had a long day ahead of them.  
  
The End! 


End file.
